We are going to take the basic hunger that we all have for female contact and we are going to turn this hunger into fuel to feed that need. Some of us have a lack of engagement knowledge and engagement skills. This week we are going into some great information on how to rock this one out. Everything from ground zero to a hundred, we can build upon. This episode is about jacking this thing up like nothing else.
None of the other dating gurus ever dig this one. So get ready for some completely fresh stuff.
I was reading a book regarding about business concepts, kind of a 101 introductory information. It’s by Seth Goden. It’s called Lynch Pin. This kind of struck a chord in me. The problems talked about are government systems and large scale businesses. The fact that we have been feed through a system that has begun in the industrial revolution… In hindsight, the Industrial revolution was cool for production. What sucked for was our humanity that took a huge hit over the next couple of generations. I think this take a huge hit that negatively impacted your dating life.Why do I say that?
I say this because in the last couple of generations, when your parents believed in something, they taught it to you, and when their parents believed in something, they taught it to them. The industrial revolution created this random nonsense paradigm about how things need to be in life, what is important, what’s not, and the way that it affects you and me. There’s a billion stuff about how stuff should go. We will going to narrow it down to one thing that affects, not about the industrial revolution, but about the dispositions out there in the world that are stopping you from getting what you want.
The phrase “That we have built out our government to support the mentality of shut up and work” we will take care of you. This no longer works. The world is filled with different information. Outsourcing happens, people get replaced with machine. It leaves the world in a state of flux.How does this relate to dating exactly?
First, it made our grandparents and parents “worker bees”. The “worker bee” mentality is really mentally lazy and it makes them prone to getting told the way things should be, accepting it without questions. That comes down in traditionalism to be this generation wherein we are programmed by these traditional thoughts of how to approach women. It’s in our heads, and there are a lot of falsehoods here.
Traditionalism and worker bee mentality the “don’t think for yourself”. There is connectivity in the idea of business and dating. And it is really copiously important. The idea “you want what we tell you to want”, really bugs me off. Like I want what they tell me to want. This is instituted to us before we even become mentally aware of it.
The idea that “you want what we tell you to want”. Everything else is invalid. Look we will prove it through brainwashing…. and after brainwashing what we all get is “appetite suppressants” instead of good eating information. What we get through our side of social proof is basically just brainwashing that supports this.
Example, we can seek and strive and kick ass for years in our various professions, and be the sort of people who care and try, and work on it as hard as we can, but the danger here is that the world is set up to be a “motivation killer”. It’s set up to generate a bunch of humans that have “requirements to meet” and going over the top does not get rewarded. We all know this right? It’s kind of a no brainer. How this gross insidious idea manifest itself into our habitry without us realizing it. It’s copious, and it’s dangerous.
We all have a million bits of our own personal psyches to process at all times where we have to decide all day long about what to do with the huge mudslide of information that is coming to us everyday.
The information overload that we suffer is something we grow numb to. We have to (at least try to) make a decision once, and call it good enough about that particular thing so we can move on with our “important stuff”.
Important stuff like, “what does my boss think of my last project”?
Important stuff like, “what will a girl think of my attitude”?
But that all gets clogged up by the “bad habit” we talked about, and we start having our list look like this:
My boss has not complained recently. Everything must be copasetic.
I haven’t checked out that iPhone app that helps me cook waffles perfectly by scanning it with laser beams, right? *chuckles*
I have learned a lot about girls, so whenever I end up meeting the next one I should be prepared, right? WRONG.
Or…. I don’t need to really engage things anymore because, I have all this stuff that I can fixate on that seems really important because the world is filled with information overload and like a huge mud slide its all just flooding into my head at torrential speed and it’s all I can do to keep up with the billion decisions I have to make all the time about my work, or studying women or my damned iPhone or whatever the hell it is.
This habit is debilitating. It is a killer for our engagement in life in general, and specifically, for our ability to engage women. To sum up, what we’ve got is a situation I was in wherein I couldn’t engage with the cool people because they were doing things which I could not understand. I thought were uncool crap, totally unethical – obviously very cruel, programmed and rude. The boys were doing that and were getting results. Same as with the girls. And here we are, being the guys who don’t do that and se just have to sit and be unpopular! That’s B**sh** and it’s eating me up. I was just miserably depressed, pissed off and starved for friends.
I had not even kissed a girl. Could not get one to talk to me for longer than 30 seconds (or so I thought) and because of this belief, I became so ravenous for some sort real interaction with REAL women, REAL women, who think like you and know how to have conversations for things that matter. I wanted something real, anything real in life.
This programmed and HABIT ridden world. Traditionalism mixed with a jumble of crappy information forms this habit ridden world in which ‘where are these women?’ ‘Where are they?’ ‘What was wrong with me that everyone in the world who is doing things all wrong as far as I can tell – like not being ethical, not being moral, and not being cool in any way?’ I was just confused and depressed.
Essentially I had tried to take my appetite for female company and suppress it, because I was hungry for it. I needed it and I know you felt this way. I tried to take my appetite and suppress it. I had some success with it. I was able to do it for a couple while, for a couple of years, but when I actually looked at it critically, it was one of those things that I avoided in my head. Because of crappy habits, I was programmed to think that this was right, and this was how it should be and I am not supposed to fill in the blanks.
Back in the days, it was fill in the blanks. And the big question mark, the big cloud, I had no idea. Maybe if I just kept taking some appetite suppressants for my hunger for this company, maybe I wouldn’t feel this pain of loneliness anymore or the longing for it anymore. Just maybe, and see if you have felt this way.
Maybe if I drown out my fear of those HORRIBLE 30 second conversation with girls and the way they always ended with me wishing I had not started them, I could just like…… what? Go back and die? Why is it that I couldn’t talk about things that I love like art, like music, like science, like philosophy? Why is it that I have to play like everybody else was playing it? It was killing me.More to the present now, I have this half brother…
This guy is the sweetest kid you will meet in your entire life. I guarantee you and know this from an explicit fact that he has never kissed a girl, EVER! And I know this ‘coz never once have I ever seen, smelled, or heard about him even talking to a girl. So he is at ZERO. No 30-second conversations to be pained about. He has become numb to this. He doesn’t feel this anymore. He will just live his entire life by himself, completely alone with using to cover up the pain of this disconnection from what his problem actually is.
His problem is the same thing we have been talking about the whole time. He has been fed crap information and been making decisions about it kind of on auto pilot forever. Now he is not stupid, he is really pretty smart. In fact I would call him above average as far as intellect goes. But he is never going to get there, he is never going to do it, because he got this whole habit problem from all of his traditionalism mixed with crap information and the bad habit thing. This habit insidiously worked itself into his life, his consciousness, his whole thing. And killed forever, any action that he may ever take to have a 30-second conversation that ended tragically and he wanted to die. He doesn’t even get to do that. At least that is poignant. Thinking about my half brother makes me miserable because I know what condition he is in with this. And I know how he feels or rather, how he doesn’t feel. Because he avoids it as much as he possibly can. Like once in a while I will bring this up, but once in a while you can see how painful it is in his eyes. Whenever I do, I just let it go. I can’t do anything for him. Because he is never going to get past to that zero point.
Unlike us who are discussing, talking, formulating new ideas and information, proves to me that you are going to win. And this idea, is going to help you do it, because what we’ve got is the action killer the bad habit problem, the mudslide information that has been rolling into our consciousness. We are making decisions like machine guns in our head. Case in point, this giant problem, generated by our grandparents the ‘do what you are told’ mentality, causes this problem where they taught our parents both not to think and to think in only certain ways. And our parents taught us, and the people around us, to engage in this ways as well. And that causes a number of problems in our ability to socially connect or not connect. It also causes this habit that profuses our personalities and kills engagement, and kills action. Without engagement and action, we end up like my half brother. He will never engage. he will never act. Even if he did a little bit, it wouldn’t work for him because he wouldn’t have any practice. And even if he did a little bit more, he will get more frustrated. He hasn’t escaped this problem. Our action, our engagement, thereby our ability to solve this problem for ourselves suffers its deathblow if we do not get a handle on it.
Now, my main point (get the pencil out) is, how did I get through this crap time for myself? By noticing the following:
As I kept suppressing my hunger for real companionship (which I could have done forever probably. Because in the moment(just like my half brother), it is easier than having another 30 second conversation that ends up with me wanting to kill myself as an inept retard who gets tongue tied in front of women like I did. So I could let that ride, I could let that go, but I noticed that if I did, I would never ever have companionship that would amount to anything that I would never have my ravenous hunger satisfied. It would just be suppressed hunger. And what was worse is that I could see that in the end, it becoming easier and easier to get used to feeling hungry, until I just didn’t notice anymore!
That lands me on exactly the same stew that my half brother is in and will always be in. his chances are divided by zero. I, if I accepted that, would become a DATING ANOREXIC, a RELATIONSHIP ANOREXIC, a SEX ANOREXIC (because you have to go through these points to get there). Just watch the rest of the world eat its fill by being jerks and douchebags. And executing insane programming and just eating it up for each other. That was unacceptable. That was so GROSS to me. You know your own value. At the bottom of everything I knew my value too and it was disgusting to me. That was unacceptable.So, gentlemen. Are you hungry for a relationship with a beautiful woman? Are you hungry for a relationship with a woman who is like you, and does not eat up jerk bag programming?
Then how do you kill the habit that is acting like an appetite suppressant?
First, you stop taking it. You stop taking the appetite suppressant. You let your mind completely FEEL the need that you have been suppressing with (whatever) has been keeping it from wanting to scream. Let your mind fill it completely.
You may ask yourself:
How do I do that? Is it going to be painful? Do I even do that?
These are excellent questions. You need to stop letting the mudslide cover the OPEN WOUND that is your unfullfillment. Stop letting the mudslide of unimportant BS everyday detail and weekly details cover this unfullfillment. It is buried under whatever you can bury it with. I know this, I feel it too. I get it. I have been there.
Let it rise to the top and be as ugly as it is. The purpose for this is, you want what you want and you need to get it and I want you to get it. You and me both do not want to end up like my half brother.
Let the hunger for this idea (companionship, camaraderie, closeness, intimacy) start to get irritating. Let the hunger turn into an ach in your belly. Let the hunger turn into ravenousness. Without fulfilling companionship we are all starving. We are all dying actually. And there is no glory in this kind of death. It is not noble. It is not doing anyone any good, at all.
Not you, and certainly not the woman you will meet out there.
Your ideal woman is out there and what’s more, she is EXACTLY in the same condition. She feels the same way. Don’t you wish that she stop taking her appetite suppressants and come looking for YOU!??
Well,, maybe she is. But if you don’t let this hunger get the best of you, if you don’t take this ravenousness take over, she will NOT find you.
What’s crazy in that there are a lot of women out there right now who are looking for YOU.
I am NOT kidding.
She will not find you unless you get a handle on this. There are a lot of women out there who are looking for you, this is provable. It’s just the law of averages vs. the population at large.
And what’s even better is you can have her. She is looking at you and you can have her. If you let the appetite suppressant go. If you, instead of suppressing the fact that she is not in your life right this second, that she is looking for you. You need to be there, which means that you need to ACT.
Focus on this hunger until you are so SICK of it that you GO AND EAT SOMETHING! It’s an insane transformation. If a wolf didn’t know it was hungry, it would die because it wouldn’t eat anything.
But it does, and notice that it does not shrink away from being fed. This may be a lame analogy, but let it stand.
Any hunger when felt, NEEDS and requires satisfaction.
If you are having 30 second conversations that make you feel like I did, I want to let you know that once I just recognized that I was starving and the hunger was greater than my being tongue tied, and there were NO MORE 30 second conversations that I did not choose for MYSELF.
REALLY DO IT!
And now here is your assignment for the week.
1 – Do the assignment
2 – Notice the results
Go and apply that hunger to TWO thirty second conversations this week and see what happens. It will be insane. IT WILL BE INSANE. I guarantee you that it will not be 30 second conversation again. The very first one will probably be sextupled that (or whatever that word is).
And if you are at 2 min conversations, they become 10 with this hunger in you, and once you get to 10, there is no possible way that she won’t be open to more than that.
And if you are at 0min of convo right now? EVEN BETTER! Because 0 to 60 always starts at 0! But no matter where you started, letting yourself be ravenously hungry for real engagement WILL quantify your success.
Even me. Even now.
Even now that I have NO trouble at all. If I loose the mudslide of information overload that pours through my day and FEEL my need for real and genuine engagement, it helps me take Action.
It helps my Content Production, and I have so much practice at working my head back into the space where i FEEL it, (this need) that any time I am hungry, I just go out to eat! It works amazingly well.
Remember your assignment! 2 women this week. Notice your results and compare!
This concept will get it done. This concept is something no one talks about. It’s because it’s inside you. It’s easy to engage, its something that already exists. You don’t have to pretend, you don’t have to pull out of nowhere.
Let it feed you. Let it fuel your action, your engagement. Your content, let it do it. This is something negative that exists inside us all that we can flip to be the most positive thing in the world. I still use this thing. I do not have a lack of women in my life at all.
This works at ground zero and works at ground 100. Please complete your homework this week and I would love to hear about it too.
I have appreciated you guys rating the episodes. Please continue doing it. It helps me know how I am doing for you. Go ahead and do that. Do not forget your assignment this week. 2 women, notice your results and compare.
Thank you as always for joining us for Narps Dating Tips this week. Go out and use this great information. I want you to succeed and you can do it. I am wishing you the best of luck.