Our reader Jennifer sent us this article. Write your comment bellow.
I have been single for over 4 years now. I went into single life with an open mind! I have found however that perhaps I am not “good” at dating.
Listing my past relationships is a bit embarrassing but I want to know that I am not so different than any other single female. Actually, I hope that no one has endured the depths of what I have felt and experienced.
My first experiences with dating set the tone for what has been an ongoing disaster. You will say, I am sure, “You like bad boys don’t you”? Nothing could be further from the truth. I like educated, articulate, attractive, intelligent and professional guys. Is there anything wrong with that.
I forgot to mention that I like single men. More about that later. Reflecting upon my past mistakes, I still would not have had too many red flags the first few contacts. No scary situations, but major drama ensued.
I prefer to date from online dating sites. I am sort of shy and have better luck meeting people this way. The problem is finding “quality men with integrity”. Mom never told me that it would be this hard!!
The first few guys that I dated were “major players“. The first one I found out was not only a serial dater but had been arrested for stalking and had 2 restraining orders from 2 different women. Yes, I did a background check through the county records. Good thing!
The second one I found out later was an alcoholic and sex addict. He was educated, from a wealthy family and very sweet. Just didn’t realize he was also a liar and a bs artist. By bs artist, I am not talking about music or Van Gough!. He still tries to reach me online. I thought I blocked him but after 4 years he still tries to get to me. He broke my heart and probably many others!
I moved on to a convicted felon. Now, I must admit, he was the only one that was not a professional guy. However, he was oh so attractive. He had multiple profiles with in different cities with different identifications. Very strange!
After that, well.. I will leave out a few less interesting but as much in the same standards as the previous ones, I found my “Dream Man”! Wow, was I impressed. We spoke for hours on end. He lived a few hours from me and we were so infatuated. He failed to tell me that not only was he still married but his cheating wife who was sleeping with the neighbor, was also still at home! That drama went on for months. We will call him Bob.
Bob and I broke up several times, he finally separated from his wife and he moved out west. I went to visit him and found that he was on a Bondage Site! I was furious. Drama ensued as I snared him into a little fun. I signed up on the site while visiting him and began emailing him with an alias of course named Carla!
Carla and Bob started an exchange of emails and upon my return home, they set up a meeting. I instant messaged him as Carla and he took the bait. He went to meet Carla one evening and of course, he was so sadly stood up. There is more to that story, but not enough time here! Bob and I soon parted ways for awhile. Funny thing, he still calls me after two years! He wants a life with me, but I have to share it with his best friend double Absolute Vodkas!
Do not despair! There is more to this story. Things did calm down and I met a nice guy.. one of the few, but he had a drinking problem. Soon after, I thought that I met my dream man from Michigan. He pursued me to the hilt and I took the bait. He was recently divorced though and was just enjoying mini vacations in Florida. I was crushed and still am!
Last but not least was someone that I will call Mark. He took the cake. I should bake him one lol. Never have I dated such a pathological Liar. Well, yes I have! However, he was the most seemingly sincere liar.
Oh, there were red flags after the first six weeks. He came to visit me and started talking about some type of tumor that he had on his spinal column. It caused him terrible migraines at times . He had chemo to arrest it. Only 4 people in the entire world knew about this. Hmmm, I did have a few moments of thought after hearing this!
A few hours after our visit, which was spectacular, I saw him on a dating site with his instant messaging button on. He had told me he deleted his profile for me . Ha ha! When I confronted him, he told me that he was being stalked by someone on the site and had to contact the administrator. Well, I own a dating site and know that you do not have to have a profile to contact them. I let it go since we had not dated that long. Rule number 1, if they lie, do not stop! Pass GO!!!
This stupidity went on for a few months. The last thing that happened was probably the most amazing bit of lying and creativity that I had ever experienced in my vast dating years!!!
He just disappeared for a week. So, I texted him to see if he was ok.
Mark told me that he had been in the hospital and had just gotten out. He was actually unconscious for day and hooked up to tubes and electrodes!!! Poor Mark’s parents were with him and taking him to the Mayo Clinic the next day for testing. Yeah right!
Just so I could prove to myself that I was not paranoid after all my honest, loyal boyfriends, I decided to give him the benefit of doubt. At the time he told me he was at the Mayo, I called him at work. I guess you know it was not his secretary that answered the phone!
Is this just me or does every one have these problems with dating?