How to control your emotions


We all have a baseline. A natural state of emotions that where you naturally operate form. Emotions, just like any other habit become more and more easy for you to enter into the more time we spend feeling them. They become familiar, almost like a security blanket. You become so used to our base emotional state that at times it almost seams like it’s all that we are capable of.

That couldn’t be farther from the truth

Emotions are just result, brought on by how you communication with your nervous system. They are not something thrust upon us and completely out of our control. Whether you’re conscious of it or not, you produce your emotions through the way you communicate with yourself. In this article I’ll explain how to control your emotions.


It all comes down to communication. The words you use, the tones you use, and how you use our body all work together to create your emotions.

An emotion is no more than a neurological response to what you are communicating to yourself. It’s a feeling in the body, nothing more. Depression, just like happiness, is a result. If you want to create the emotion of depression, you have to say specific things to yourself in a specific tone. You have to assume the body language of depression. It helps if you look down a lot and run through the worst possible scenarios.

If all of your modes of communication are congruent, it produces a powerful emotional response. Just like with depression, if you want to feel ecstatic, you have to say certain things to yourself in a specific tone, with your body in a specific posture and even specific facial expression.

Modes of communication

If you want to learn how to control your emotions, all you need to know is how to communicate effectively.There are three major modes of communication.

  • Words
  • Tone
  • Body language

The jury is still out on how big of a role each part plays, but the general consensus is that we communicate roughly 10% through your words, 30% through your tone of voice, and 60% through your body language (facial expression, posture, speed of movement, etc)If you were trying to communicate your immense love of music to someone, you wouldn’t say it in a monotone with your shoulders down and forward.

Sure they would here the words you’re saying, but it would be difficult to express your profound love with a tone and body language that communicates a lack of interest. The other person would get a weak and incomplete picture of what you’re trying to communicate.

To communicate effectively, all three modes of communication must be expressing the same thing. They must be congruent. Otherwise, the person you’re communicating with will get an incomplete picture.

the same is true with communicating with ourselves.

What you communicate to your nervous system, produces certain results. These results are your emotions. If you wanted to feel strong, you would need to communicate that to your nervous system congruently through all three modes of communication.

Try this:

  1. Think of a time when you felt completely happy.
  2. I mean on top of the world where you felt life couldn’t get any better.
  3. Picture a specific time.
  4. Close your eyes an enter that situation.

Where are you? what are you seeing? What are you feeling in your body, and where is that feeling located? How are you standing? What is the expression on your face? What are you saying to yourself in that exact moment?

Now assume the same posture and facial expressions and start to say the same things to yourself in the same tone of voice and notice how you feel.

You just created an emotion!

This is the same process that you go through unconsciously on a regular basis. You say things to yourself about what things mean. you say it in a specific tone, and you assume body language associated with what you’re saying. All coming together to produce an emotion.

Most of the time this process is completely unconscious.Imagine, being able to put yourself in a state of total confidence and determination every time you walk through the doors at your work, or right before meeting a cute girl, or even before a big basketball game.

How resourceful do you think you would be compared to going into those same situations feeling tired, or unfocused?

Understanding and directing your communication opens up the possibility for you to consciously direct our emotional state, and the emotional state of others. you can literally feel happy, clear, focused, and motivated at the drop of a hat.

You can go from fog to clarity in seconds, and you can do it anytime you want.

I’d love to hear your thoughts or questions you have about how to control your emotions.

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