How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone
Within the world of dating, numerous phrases or concepts have been coined. One of the most recent but also one based on a very old dilemma is known as the Friend Zone. Simply put, this involves a male and female who are friends, two people who care about each other and enjoy spending quality time together. However, what makes this such a frustrating scenario is that the male friend would like to take the friendship to the next level of being boyfriend and girlfriend, but the female does not. Many of our readers want to know, how to get out of the friend zone, so this article is exactly about that, keep reading…
As we all know, men and women see things and handle situations quite differently. For instance, a man will view intimacy as a way of showing a woman he likes her although he may not be ready for a committed relationship. On the other hand, the woman sees relationships as being either 100% committed or merely friends. Keep in mind, it is not that women are being devious but they do enjoy evenings out with their male friend, going to dinner, a movie, concert, and other events, but without fringe benefits of sex.
For the man who wants to move out of the friend zone and into a real relationship with his female friend, this is possible but it can be a challenging conquest. As you will discover, trying to mentor your female friend or hang around her simply as friends in anticipation that something more will develop is not a realistic solution to getting her as a girlfriend. A common mistake made by men is they feel they can ease their way into the woman’s life by being her buddy, or perhaps acting as a big brother but the truth is this does not work.
If you think you may be in the “friend zone”, there are some telltale signs to confirm that you are in this position, some that include hearing comments from the female friend such as:
- “I don’t want to get involved because I would hate doing anything to ruin our friendship”
- “You’re just like a big brother to me”
- “I think of you as my very best friend”
- “I can talk to you about anything, any time”
- “I can’t believe how much you understand me”
If you have a female friend who shares in-depth conversations with you about dating problems, perhaps about a certain man she is currently dating and likes, someone she recently met, or if she asks you for advice specific to other men in general, then you can feel certain that you have officially been placed in the “friend zone”.
In this article, How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone…From Just a Friend to your Girlfriend, we are going to show you sure-fire methods for getting out of the friend zone and into a real, loving relationship with the woman you love. You will also be provided with information for never landing in the “friend zone” and even exercises that allow you to practice the things you will learn. After all, you and your female friend already share an amazing connection, which is the foundation for a healthy relationship, meaning not only is half the battle won, but the most important battle. When you are sure you want more than friendship, you will need to show her that you are interested in her as a girlfriend, not just a friend. To accomplish this goal, we are providing you with helpful information that works.
After all, you and your female friend already share an amazing connection, which is the foundation for a healthy relationship, meaning not only is half the battle won, but the most important battle. When you are sure you want more than friendship, you will need to show her that you are interested in her as a girlfriend, not just a friend. To accomplish this goal, we are providing you with helpful information that works.
To give you a jumpstart in reaching your goal, we wanted to provide you with actual exercises that can be done to allow you to see the way in which she responds. With this, you have the opportunity to get a better feel as to how your efforts are being received, which then lets you make any needed adjustments. These exercises are to be performed in a subtle way, which will ensure the friendship is not damaged.
Her immediate response to the exercises may or may not provide you with full insight as to her feelings but these are still excellent ways way to practice the things you need to do to start moving the friendship forward. Of course, you want to make certain that you do not go through all of the exercises offered in a single day or she will for sure pick up on what you are trying to do.
Instead, use these exercises as mere guidelines that can be tried over a period of weeks, if not months. Always remember that the process of getting out of the “friend zone” is not a fast one – this takes a lot of dedication, determination, and patience. The same is true with the following exercises in that they need to be done covertly and with a ton of patience!
We discussed flirting as a means of transforming your behavior so your female friend knows that you are interested in a committed relationship but now, you get to put flirting to work in the form of an exercise. Remember – these exercises are designed to be subtle so even if the two of you innocently flirt, you are now going to step it up a bit but not so much that she feels uncomfortable.
For this first exercise, when the two of you are together, perhaps sitting across from one another over a meal, start by holding her gaze just a little longer than
27 you would normally do. As she talks, make sure your attention is at a higher level, spending more time listening than talking. Additionally, use your sense of humor as a means of encouraging her and showing her a good time, not the type of humor you typically have with her as a friend, but humor that promotes good, in-depth conversation.
The Touch Barrier
Another area we discussed was increasing your touch, putting your arms around her neck, holding her hand, or bumping into her in a teasing way. Now, you want to put the touching to practice in a new way, one that would get a positive reaction from her. With this, you will need to look for an appropriate opportunity, times that seem natural while allowing you to be a little more forward. As an example, if a strand of her hair were to fall over her face, before she moves it, reach over and gently push it back in place. Another option would be to place your hand on the small part of her back as the two of you walk into the theater or restaurant. Chances are that you usually put your hand on her shoulder or top portion of the back but the small of the back is a more intimate part of the body. Since you have likely had some innocent touching, she will not think much of this, but you can be sure she will notice the change.
Treat her Like a Lady
Listen carefully – you have probably always treated her with respect and kindness because she is someone special to you, but now, your third exercise is to treat her like a lady, a genuine lady, not just a woman. Okay, so what does that mean? Even though she is someone wonderful, you have still viewed her as a friend. However, at this point, you are going to stop treating her as a close female friend and more like a lady.
Although you probably do not treat her the same way you treat your male friends, she is still not out of the “friend” realm. Your mission if you wish to accept it is to take her to dinner, someplace nice, quiet, and just a little romantic without going overboard. Let her know that you will pick her up and when you show up at her
28 house, greet her at the door, walk her to the car, open and close the car door, and once at the restaurant, help her out of the car, offer her your arm, open the restaurant door, and pull out her chair.
Even if this has been a normal way of treating her as a friend, for this dinner, you are going to focus on nothing but her, not looking around at other woman or flirting with the waitress, talking about dating other women, and so on, but giving her your full, undivided attention with compliments and asking about something in her life you know she values. The goal is not to be sappy or fake, but relaxed, sincere, and focused.
If you know there is something she has been interested in doing or learning, you have a perfect opportunity to impress her and put your new skills to the test. Even if the hobby is not something you particularly have interest in – that is not the point. Therefore, your next exercise is to identify and then surprise her with something you know she wants to do.
Let us say that your female friend has talked about taking a ceramics class, learning to bowl, or learning to speak a foreign language. Instead of just encouraging her, you want to go ahead and make a small financial investment and purchase the class or lessons for her, and for you. Then, instead of giving this to her as a special gift, perhaps for her birthday or Christmas, surprise her just because.
Not only are you enjoying time together doing something important to her, you have also shown her that you listen to what she says – guaranteed to get you big brownie points.
Take Her On a Picnic
One way to let a friend know that you are interested in more is by doing things you have never done before, things a boyfriend would likely do. With exercise number five, pick a beautiful Saturday and tell her you have a special surprise in 29 store. Weeks before, conduct research to locate an amazing park or quiet lake where you can enjoy the environment and each other’s company. Then, with the location chosen, you will need to plan the contents of the picnic basket. If you are not good in the kitchen, you can always visit your local deli to have something incredible made.
Great options include sandwiches made of ham and muenster cheese on Focaccia bread with cherry jam spread, macaroni salad, fresh, cut up vegetables to include carrots and celery, frosted brownies for dessert, and then cold ice tea or lemonade. Of course, your “friendly” picnic will need a soft comforter or blanket on which to sit, a portable CD player with CDs of her favorite artists, and a single rose to help set the tone.
Because this is something you have never done before, she might be suspicious and curious but by keeping the conversation light and easy, as it has always been she will quickly feel at ease, appreciating all the work you went through in putting the perfect picnic together.
Show her your Soft Side
Another area touched on is the importance of showing a woman that while you are definitely a manly man you can also be sensitive and sweet. Women find this a real turn on so use it to your advantage. A great way to show a woman your softer side without feeling as if you are losing your masculinity is by volunteering within the community where you live.
Always remember that women by nature are givers and nurturers. Therefore, asking her to volunteer along with you is a great way to earn her heart. Although there are hundreds of volunteer opportunities throughout the year, if you happen to be in the holiday season, make some phone calls to find a homeless shelter that needs people to cook, serve food, deliver presents, and so on.
Of course, the volunteering should be done as a joint effort with your female friend. You are guaranteed that this good deed will not go unrewarded. Although she may not become your girlfriend overnight, this type of gesture will be tucked safely away where it is processed over and over again, making her realize what a great catch you are.
Time for Change
The final exercise we want you to do is to find something about you and change it. Sometimes, shaking things up a little is a great way of getting a female friend to take notice. Typically, a male and female friend becomes accustomed to each other’s behaviors and appearances so when things change, it peaks her curiosity.
For instance, if you have worn your hair in the same style year after year, consider having the color changed, highlights added, or perhaps getting a completely new cut. Even modifying your wardrobe slightly will show her a new, confident side that could very well make a huge impression.
If this woman is only seeing you as a friend, making a few changes are an excellent way of getting her attention and more than that, making her wonder why the changes were made in the first place. She could suspect that you have met someone, which might create a little jealousy, or she may have realized that you are pursuing her as a girlfriend and now, take you more seriously.
As we mentioned at the start of the article, you cannot jump right in and start going through one exercise after another in a week. Women have uncanny intuition and if your rush the process of getting her as your girlfriend, she is going to see right through you and never consider moving you out of the “friend zone”. Throughout the exercise process, remind yourself about the importance of patience and subtlety. I hope you you’ve found valuable info and ideas, what will help you to answer a question: how to escape the friend zone. Most of all – have fun and relax!
Enjoy a Long-Term Relationship – Never Go Back to “Just Friends”
Congratulations – after a lot of hard work, effort, and determination, you and your female friend have moved past being buddies to being serious lovers in a committed relationship. Now more than ever, you need to make sure you put forth effort in maintaining what you have worked so hard to build.
Too often, men will go through all the work of pushing out of the “friend zone” and once they land the woman, they forget everything learned, quickly reverting back to old habits. Obviously, in a dating scenario, the woman is going to see what is happening and before long, the relationship will go south. If married, this is when couples get themselves in trouble as they head toward divorce.
Building a connection with your female friend was important enough to you so much that you made some serious changes so why would you want to throw it all away? We want to provide you with three primary dynamics on what it takes to hold on to the love of your life. Finding a good person is one thing – getting that person to date you is one thing – maintaining a long-term, loving and committed relationship is another thing altogether. However, this is not difficult or impossible, simply a matter of keeping up on the good actions you have already put in motion.
The truth is that most men from a very young age have been conditioned to be an alpha. Men are taught to serve in specific roles that include provider and protector. This means they have to be strong, brave, hard-working, and consistent. While all of these character traits are what draw women to men in the first place, there also has to be a balance of toughness and tenderness, which for some men is hard to do.
Just as women look for a provider and protector, they also want a man who is sensitive, loving, affection, and not afraid to be emotional in appropriate circumstances. During this time of the relationship building process, it is critical to understand the dynamics of what it takes to be in a loving, committed relationship with your best friend.
The three main dynamics include the mind, heart, and soul, which we have addressed below.
The words we say, behaviors we act out, and the things we think are all driven by the powerful brain. The brain is also responsible for our beliefs, perceptions, opinions, judgments, desires, and rationalizations. To make sure the mind works for you in your relationship and not against you, it needs to be programmed for success, which comes from discipline and determination.
What happens is that when two people get into a relationship, the majority of time and attention is spent on the other person, pleasing her, being with her, talking to her, and so on. Obviously, the brain becomes a little overloaded with the change and as a result, there can be raw emotions, distorted perceptions, unrealistic expectations, and even confusion. Remember, this is perfectly normal but at this time, you need to get things in check so any changes associated with the relationship are handled correctly.
If you do not find this balance, you could easily get yourself into trouble with miscommunication, emotions, trust, and other factors. Instead of allowing any negative energy to take control because of the changes in which the mind is processing, take a deep breath, slow down, and trust what special bond you and the woman in your life share. Shortly, you will start to think clearly and the relationship can grow in a healthy manner.
Did you know that of all muscles in the body, the heart is the strongest? Then why is it that the heart is also the one that gets hurts the easiest? As you have probably already experienced, the heart is hugely involved not only with friendship, but also a serious relationship.
Again, if you want the woman in your life to be around for a long time, you have to be able to tap into the heart, accepting that there is the chance of it getting hurt but if you do not put your fears aside, then the relationship will never happen or succeed.
We all know that with every relationship comes disappointment, anger, frustration, and of course, hurt but when the two of you are faced with some type of dilemma, instead of hardening the heart and tuning out, remind yourself of the work you put into getting this woman in your life and then lighten up. There is nothing unmanly about being sensitive, soft, loving, and tender and in fact, to the 33 woman, this coupled with the strength of protector and provider can be a real turn on.
The last dynamic required in any successful relationship is the soul. A great way to look at the soul is it being your inner voice. The soul is what resides deep within the body and mind, being the very existence of the person you are. The soul is a type of energy force that is very powerful, especially in building and maintaining a happy, loving relationship.
Your soul is what will tell you when things are right or wrong, dangerous or safe, and real or unreal so you need to listen to this inner voice, trusting what you hear. Many people think of the soul as being the subconscious mind, which is vital to life. As you go through life in a relationship, there are going to be times when the heart says one thing, the mind says another, and then the soul puts its two cents worth in.
You have to be able to decipher the truth so you make good decisions for you, your lover, and the relationship as a whole. The answer to this is to pay attention to the soul, to the things you feel deep on the inside. You see, the soul gets messages and energy from the mind and heart, actually serving as a mediator between the two. Therefore, if you and your special woman fight over something or have differing opinions, take time to listen to your natural instinct so no sudden decisions are made that could be damaging.
As the relationship progresses and things between the two of you become more serious, chances are that the mind is going to start putting out signs of doubt and the heart feelings of fear. Again, this is completely normal, something everyone in a relationship goes through. You have a choice of abandoning the relationship, or trusting you and the very reasons you fell in love with this woman in the first place.
If you get clear messages from the soul, then you know without doubt you are on the right track. How do you know – check out the types of messages you should be getting from deep inside, confirming that you are in love and with the right person.
- The look in her eyes gives you butterflies
- Her smile inspires you and puts you at ease
- She makes you feel loved, secure, appreciated, and safe
- With her in your life, you want to succeed
- Taking care of her as a provider and keeping her safe as a protector is the most important things to you
- Even when she has no makeup on and is lounging around in sweats, you feel profoundly proud
- She supports and encourages you to be the best you can be
- You feel completely at peace with your life and the relationship
- You want to do everything possible to make this relationship succeed
Getting out of the “friend zone” and into the heart of your female friend has been an unbelievable adventure, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Most often, when a man makes the appropriate changes and follows the advice provided in this article, he will succeed. Of course, there is always a slight chance that even with change and hard work, nothing more than friendship is ever achieved but unless you try, you will never know what you can achieve.