Internet Marketing…It Ain’t No Tea Party, Princess!

Look, anyone who knows me understands that I’m willing to tell it like it is and sometimes that tends to end up being a rant of epic proportions. This may be one of those moments. Sometimes that comes off as crass or insensitive, but that’s just me. Today I want to talk a little bit about Internet Marketing, Search Engine Optimization, SEO or whatever term you choose to describe the one thing we all want…getting more hits to our website.

I get sick and tired of reading these feel good articles that talk about how you can climb to the top of the search engine rankings by being nothing but honorable and helpful. To me these are the same people who vote for that idiot presidential candidate that no one has ever heard of. He gets 1.0% of the national popular vote and 95% of the population didn’t even realize he was a candidate. WTH? He’s the most wonderful man you will ever want to meet. He truly would make the best president. But good intentions don’t get you elected in this cut throat world. And I’m sorry sunshine but if you want to be ranked #1 out of 100 million sites in your niche market, then good intentions and kissing babies aren’t gonna cut it. Serious internet marketing comes from serious search engine optimization techniques that change more often than my underwear. Whoops, some things are better left unsaid. My bad.


Internet marketing is war. To score well with search engines (generally referred to as search engine optimization) you have to get viral and get nasty. You have to seek every angle you can and push and promote as hard as you can.You goal is backlinks and a high page rank which translates to massive traffic.  If you want to rank on top of the internet heap you have to get serious about SEO techniques (SEO = Search Engine Optimization). Are you posting a few genuinely considerate comments on 5 of your favorite blogs every night? Don’t make me laugh. Last night I linked on about 100 high page rank sites, and that’s just one day. They weren’t all blogs, I use link diversity, and I didn’t leave 100 great comments like “Gee Mister you are so smart. I am just proud to know you. You are the internet marketing king.” I don’t waste my time with butt kissing. I am trying to build massive traffic, not win a popularity contest. I have search engine rankings to conquer. I get backlinks quickly, painlessly, and don’t put a ton of effort into any of them. I get hundreds of them. I have been doing that every single day for several weeks now.

I can’t stand to listen to people talk about internet marketing like they understand it, when they do not. They really think a few kind words on a blog or forum post are going to build their internet business? Hey if you are after a hobby then knock yourself out. No doubt that can be a lot of fun. But let’s not keep this a secret anymore because it is not a secret, some people just choose to ignore it. Here is what my mentors have taught me about search engine optimization… IF YOU TRULY WANT TO REACH ANYWHERE NEAR THE TOP OF THE SEARCH ENGINES IT IS GOING TO TAKE THOUSANDS OF BACKLINKS. Thousands! How long is it going to take you when you are creating 3 to 5 links a day? Half of those sites you are posting on won’t be around a year from now. That’s a sobering truth. Your competitors have ceased to care about being righteous and they have decided to win. They are focused on thousands of strategic backlinks and total viral marketing strategies that work.

For instance, I may send out versions of this article to 100 or more websites and YES I am talking about just this one article submission. I will make sure I freshen it so I don’t have duplicate content. There may be different titles, different paragraphs or examples inserted, customizations made for certain sources, different keyword focuses, etc but in general we will have 100 or more different article submissions that all talk about the same thing from 100 different corners of the internet marketing jungle. It wasn’t like that always. When I used to submit articles to top directories I would get hundreds of views for a single article on a single site. Now I can submit my best work to a top directory and I get maybe 10 article views. What? That’s insane! The rules have changed. I didn’t write them. I just have to follow them.

If you want to win at internet marketing, if you want to score high page ranks, if you want search engine optimization like the pros then you have to let go of this little rule book you carry and simply decide to win. Did guys like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg care about this rule book you carry? There is no rule book Moonbeam, that guy at Woodstock told you not to take the brown stuff and you didn’t listen. Shame on you! You know who makes these rules you believe in? They are made by a bunch of people who sit around and whine like babies because they can’t beat Gates or Zuckerberg or whoever else is above them on the ladder. So they say stupid things like, “Hey brother I may not be on the first page in Google but at least I am doing it the legitimate way.” What you are saying is that losing is legitimate and winning is not. How insane is that? Do you think that you have to make a deal with the devil for a top ten ranking? Is Google owned by the Anti-Christ? It’s typical, people who can’t win won’t look at themselves and accept blame. It’s human nature that we aren’t losers, it’s just that everyone else cheats. Get off your high horse people. I have been there and done that. It got me no where. The referees never step in and correct the calls. You will always be a victim and always finish last if you think like that. If you really want a viable internet business then you have to forget about trying to get instant Canonization from the Vatican and seek a whole different kind of instant gratification. Seek the kind of gratification that comes from thousands of people flocking to your sites.

Do you want to know why those 499 sites are ranked above you? It’s because those 499 people are trying harder to win than you are. They put in more time and effort into proven internet marketing strategies that include backlinking and search engine optimization skills. They work smarter and harder. They are beating you fairly and squarely by submitting 25 links while you sit and try to figure out how to pour your heart and soul into one tiny little link that no one will appreciate.. Hey, if they go over the line then Google will sandbox them. That’s how it works. So don’t claim that your competitors are cheats. Sure they may wear the “black hat” more often than you, but they do what it takes to win. Winners aren’t scared and they don’t hide behind cute little articles that make them feel good about losing.

If you follow the advice of those articles, you may be the type of person that believes in making the minimum payment on your credit cards. I can’t wait for 75 years for this thing to work. I’m sorry. I’ll be 117 years old by then.

Did the New England Patriots use a little old fashioned espionage to win some world championships? I think most would agree that the evidence is there. But in the end what we will remember is that they won. And every team does what the Pats were doing, the Pats just got caught. I’m a Chiefs fan by the way, so don’t take my comments as being a “homer.” I’m simply a guy who recognizes and appreciates winners. Most winners in search engine wars are never heard from. Why? Because they don’t write articles like this to try to educate anyone. That’s what the wanna-bes do. They just build their business.

It’s kind of stupid. Some guy makes 100 million dollars and wants to reveal his secret internet marketing strategy with me for $47? The guy who really made 100 million is not selling you a dadgum thing, and surely not for $47.

Sorry but I get sick of reading garbage and it’s all over the internet. While I slept last night I gained about 500 new links. That is while I slept. If you aren’t taking the same type of attitude and aggressive action then forget about making it to the top of the search engines. It’s quite doubtful that you are going to be ranked in the top ten of 100 million competing sites by acting like a choir boy all the time. Do I use some software to make it easier? Sure I do. Lots of people do, and I have heard dozens of stories about how google hates it, but they list the companies who sell that software in their own directory. So they can’t hate it that much, can they? I use Sick Submitter. I’m not going to sell you on it. I’m not an affiliate. I am a user. You will have to learn some things but I feel it’s worth it. Look it up.

I’m sorry but the world we live in is far from perfect. If nice guys finished first then you’d be there my friend. Sometimes in life you have to accept the rules, no matter how ridiculous they may seem, and get in the game and compete like your life depended on it. With the economic turmoil I see, maybe your life does depend on it. Don’t be afraid to be number one. Dogs don’t bark at parked cars!

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